Miss Santas

Last weekend we went to NYC for anniversary celebrations and early Christmas. For the last few years we have been fortunate to have our trip coincide with Santa Con or Santa Convention. The premise is that young professionals take a Saturday before Christmas and celebrate . Somehow this has become a national celebration coordinated in most major cities of the US. NYC seems to have the best because of the ease of mass transportation. This year seemed to be the largest that we have viewed as all areas of Midtown was filled with hundreds of young men and women dressed for Christmas. The event in NYC was threatened to be cancelled this year because of such bad behavior last year, but the story goes that the participants raised $14,000 in 2011 for charity. I don't know how they raised money but it had to do with patronizing the bars. It seems that Santa Con is a massive pub crawl for young professionals, both men and women. Grand Central Station was awash with every variety of Christmas attire as the young celebrants converged by subway. There were Santas, elves, Miss Santas , and even GingerBread cookies. The most common element was that all were enjoying themselves,  mostly aided by containers of alcohol. As the day progressed they got happier and louder. We saw hundreds in Times Square cavorting to Christmas music. One comely lady was wearing a hat made of a fringed lampshade. There was a new "Naked Cowboy" who was about a foot shorter than the real , original Naked Cowboy. This one was a Latin man accompanied by a Naked Cowgirl.An original idea we hadn't seen in Kentucky were Salvation Army Bell ringers dancing to Motown music as they rang their bells. Only in the Big Apple. One drunken Santa stepped aside for Sandy and I as we exited the subway turnstile. I said,"Thanks Santa" and he said "you Know it".One group of young men came staggering down the sidewalk on 44th street as we were waiting in line for "Rock of Ages". They were wearing plaid pajamas and dirty Santa Caps. Obviously three sheets in the wind , you could smell the alcohol half a block away. Loud and boisterous as they were, they didn't create a disturbance. All in all it was a very interesting way to spend a Saturday in Manhattan. I had seen pub crawls on St. Patricks Day on Folly Beach, but even drunken girls in bikinis couldn't compete with Santa Con. The weather was extraordinarily warm and the food at the New York Luncheonette was as good as always. The hotel staff was not a disappointment as they were as aloof and haughty as always. What do you expect for $400 a night?? The cab rides were as terrifying as we have come to expect, and Central Park was full of people sightseeing or skating at Wolman Rink, Trump's name on everything. It was in fact the New York we go to see. The huge tree in Rockefeller Center was the prettiest I've seen in years and crowds were as huge as ever. It seems the recession doesn't affect Manhattan. Leave Lexington on a little jet and touch down at LaGuardia in one hour and twenty minutes. From race horse farms to drunken pretty Santa Maids in 80 minutes. What a Life!Viva NYC.

Not Much Time Left

December 21st. That's the last day folks . According to all of cable tv and the Doomsday Preppers our meat gets cooked in just eleven short days. I haven't heard exactly how this is to come about but the National Geographic Channel has to be right. As I have previously written this has come about because Mayan scholars have discovered a 3000 year old stone calendar that just stops. No one has factored in that the Mayans were stone age people that sacrificed each other to appease their gods. I think personally that the Mayan calendar carver just got tired and quit!Maybe  his Mayan wife told him she was leaving him if he didn't get a better job, and guess what ?The calendar ended and three thousand years later we are all quaking in our Guccis.Why modern day America is so ready for a catastrophic end is beyond my comprehension. For centuries humanity has feared or welcomed the end.Was it just last year that the old minister in California called the end for October?When it didn't happen he said he had "miscalculated".We are all fascinated with UFOs, Big Foot , Ancient Aliens, and Ghost hunters. Look at the History Channel, A and E, and National Geographic.All used to have credibility, yet now they cater to the crack pots of society.And Turtle Man?? Aren't we as Kentuckians proud of the image he gives us?My friend from Vashon Island ,Washington was in last October and was deeply concerned about the upcoming Presidential election. He is an investment banker so its pretty obvious who he was going to vote for, but he seems to have been the only person to vote that way on the entire West Coast. Not only did he lose his vote for President, but he also let Washington State vote heavily for same sex marriage as well as allowing the recreational use of marijuana. Needless to say my conservative friend is not a happy man.I don't know who the Turtle Man and Neal voted for , and I don't want to know. I think Kentucky decriminalized Marijuana years ago. Maybe that's why we have had Big Foot Sightings in our own state. The whole point of this rambling is that I think there is not much recognizable of The United States Of America that was the leader of the world. The Fiscal Cliff?? I would trust that there could be a meeting of minds that could compromise and get our country back on track.The political parties are too busy pointing fingers to realize that the problems need to be addressed. Back to important matters at hand I am trying to decide what will be the appropriate thing to be doing on the 21st , the last day for all. Last year Sandy went to a wedding when the old guy said the vend was coming. I didn't go to the wedding because I didn't want that to be my final act, so I stayed home and watched TV . I'm taking this threat seriously this year and have not decided my final actions. I know what I'm not going to be doing:I'm not going to be at Sam's Club buying Prilosec and I'm not going to be at some Christmas Party chatting with a bunch of Drunk yuppies that I don't like. It brings to mind when archaeologists excavated the ancient ruins of Pompeii after the volcanic eruption killed the entire city. The people and their homes were preserved under layers of dust . The bodies had deteriorated yet left impressions like a mold that the archaeologists poured concrete in to recreate their final actions and body positions, even down to facial expressions. I wonder what future archaeologists will find our final actions of the 21st?Dave told me that anyone in a plane wouldn't be destroyed when the end came. What?? He said it would just be the earth. I'm glad he is leading our county government. He should be in Washington helping our leaders. They all seem to share thought processes. So this Friday we're going to NYC for Christmas and Santa Con.We're going to see "Rock of Ages" again and Sandy wants to see "The Book of Mormon". I thought we had just had a year of that with Mitt. I hope the play is better than Mitt. What can a play about Mormons be about?? Polygamy???Seagulls eating grasshoppers??They had mentioned that Tim and his posse were going to see the Radio City Christmas Program at 9am on Sunday morning. I hope we don't go because I don't think I will be able to sleep through it that early in the morning.I have slept through that show at least 2 times and The Phantom as well but that was during the regular night shows.Last year I slept through Harry Connick's play. It didn't do much for me. I'm still thinking what I want to be doing at the end, and one possibility would be going to Orange Leaf Yogurt for orange yogurt.Another distinct location would be the Half Price Bookstore in Hamburg. You could find my remains in the sale rack of cds.I could also be consulting with a colleague who recently won a position on the Stanford City Council. I was out of the office one day but he came to visit, and left me a message that he wanted to talk to me about how to be an effective ass hole on the council.Boy my legacy lived past my tenure as a politician!My worries may be without merit however , as my friend Bob the Banker gave me his word that the end is not coming on the 21st. He personally guaranteed it!There are still some loose ends to consider .Dave didn't tell me how the plane would land if the world was destroyed, and what is cable tv going to air if it doesn't happen?As far as the search for Big Foot, In think that Rene chick biologist on the show is actually half big foot herself, the love child of the Skunk ape and Janet Reno. That is only a theory at this stage that could be tested by DNA samples if we survive.OK my choice for locations for future archaeologists to find my remains is Rita's Cafe on Folly Beach South Carolina or Hymans in downtown Charleston.When the concrete hardens they will see a smile on my face as I was devouring flounder .NYC on Friday,New York Luncheonette in Midtown Friday night for our 39th Anniversary. Could this be true?? Sandy is a true martyr.