Wired to the Max

It has become apparent that Sandy Kay and I have had a role reversal in the use of technology. Now that she has become the CFO of our company with all the privileges that come with the position ,she has wired herself into the world of instant communication and knowledge. Now this is not entirely a surprise as she knows a lot about computers and their uses, but she has been slow to embrace the concepts on a daily practical level, that is until her entry into the Iphone world. Now she goes frequently onto Itunes and buys apps of all forms. I vividly remember driving to jobsites last year and hearing sounds coming from her phone like anguished souls from the pits of hell. What is that, Sandy? Angry Birds.Hell it sounded more like angry hogs rooting in the front of the car. Then there was the infamous weather app. She casually mentioned that she had downloaded a weather alert app. She didn't tell me that the thing would go off with a tremendous gong at three o'clock in the morning. The first time it was a heavy fog warning!At three in the morning. I was sitting up in the bed with a 38 special at high alert.For a fog warning no less. Now she has streaming and wifi in the house and watches movies in bed on her little phone. I wasted a lot of money on a 32 inch tv that she doesn't watch. We'll be on the road and I ask about the weather and she pulls up the radar and then tells me the forecast for the next week,for Daytona as well. I don't know why Daytona, but I don't know a lot of things. We are officially signed up to Icloud, but it took 12 hours to transfer my music to the cloud. Now Sandy has 24 hour access to Rod Stewart singing the classics from her own little Cloud. If she is not on the Iphone then she is reading her books via Kindle, and occasionally the old fashioned book. We have a promise from Amazon that her new Kindle Fire is shipping out the thirteenth of this month. We tried to buy one this week in several WalMarts, but they were all sold out. I promised her we would find one in the Corbin WalMart since people in Corbin can't or refuse to read, but even they were sold out. We are eagerly awaiting the arrival of this latest addition to our stable of technology. You can download apps on it, and it is in color. She has been reading about this strange girl with a tattoo, and then she and the old girls went to see it at the movies. It actually sounded like a movie I would have liked with nudity and violence, but Clint Eastwood wasn't in it so I didn't go. Actually I wasn't invited. I think the only people going to the show are chicks and husbands trying to make up for really bad behavior.I'm listening to AC/DC at the moment very loudly, and I feel my hearing slipping away. We went out with a friend and his family the other night and I kept calling the 7 year old"Jake" ,and Sandy told me that his name is "Jace" after we all said goodbye. Jace and Jake are very close together in my aging ears. It could have been worse as I could have called him John or Jim. B counds like D, but Jimmy Page still screams like I remember. I think I will sneak Kashmir on Sandy's Iphone and tell her it's a new song by Rod Stewart, or maybe his cousin. Maybe not as I'm not exactly in her best graces at this moment, but there's always Fergie. Or Beyonce. Or Led Zeppelin. Can you believe that silly assed Kardashian bunch are still on tv??

Troy on 50th Street

Here it is the 2nd of January, 2012,and Mother Nature has finally decided for winter to appear. Tonight is supposed to have a low of 16 degrees and tomorrow a high of the low twenties.It is snowing outside for the first accumulation of the year. Today we were cruising down I-75 just outside of Mt. Vernon when all hell broke loose as a sudden snow squall had victimized the lanes, and people driving too fast got in a world of trouble very quickly. There were at least two wrecks in the south-bound lanes in less than a mile. Earlier today there was a thirty car pileup in Grant County that threatened to take seven hours to clean up. Either way I have a job in Wooten, Kentucky that I have to visit tomorrow. Wooton is on old US 80 toward Hazard , Kentucky.Take a right at Wooton and you're headed to Cutshin. The job has taken a lot of time but the results are certainly outstanding. Back in November we went to the Yum Center in Louisville to see Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band. The concert was great, and the antics of the audience was even more entertaining. About ten minutes into the show some aging hippies lit up a huge joint down in front of us, prompting Sandy to ask what was burning and what was that smell? I'm guessing that they didn't smoke as much grass at Western Kentucky University as they did at Eastern Kentucky University. You never can tell about Sandy because she can always keep a poker face. It was apparent that the woman in front of us kept hitting that joint every time it came toward her. The thing had $20 worth of marijuana in it as it was as big as an old Prince Edward stogie. I had a contact high for half the show. There is nothing more demoralizing than watching post-50 year old women dancing to Bob Seeger, high on dope and $7 beer. I honestly had twinges of fear as the old blonde to my left would end her drug induced gyrations with violent kicks, something she was working on in zumba or karate. I don't know which, but the moves were not very pretty in the tight quarters of the Yum Center. Bob just kept on singing. In retrospect I thought about how conscious people are about germs nowadays , and how they are carrying industrial size bottles of sanitation lotions all over the country. Yet these otherwise normal people were sharing saliva from complete strangers as they shared illicit marijuana joints while enjoying Bob Seger's music. I wonder if they thought about this the next morning? On a recent trip to New York I realized that the most common smell throughout the weekend was the smell of this liquid hand sanitizer. It almost overpowers the normally rancid odor of the Subways. I think we are seriously overdoing the sanitizing thing. There seems to be a prevailing theory called "The Five Second Rule" that postulates the theory that if you drop something on a counter or floor that you pick up in less than 5 seconds that it is okay to eat. That has to be a man's rule because this generation of females are the most germ phobic people since Marie Curie. Hell, I'll eat a bologna sandwich left on a table for two days. These same germ conscious females will let a nasty cat or dog lick their faces but go into convulsions if someone sneezes within a city block.While in New york we saw "Rock of Ages" which is well worth the price of admission. About two rows behind us was Tom Ridge , the first Director of Homeland Security. Somehow I felt a little more secure that Tom was there. He certainly wouldn't be anywhere dangerous. The next afternoon we went to see Harry Connick Jr. in his play,"On a Clear Day You Can See Forever". It sucked but I really needed the rest after two days of walking. It was better than Excedran PM. We were readying ourselves for the trip to JFK on Sunday morning when we nearly ran into Troy Aikmann getting out of a black limo, probably getting ready for Sunday afternoon football. I don't think Troy recognized me.Soon we hailed a bright yellow taxi to the airport. Our Ukranian driver was eating what I thought was cereal and milk out of a bowl, but Sandy said it was something in vinegar.He lit that thing up and I'll have to say it was one of the most horrifying experiences in my life, maybe as bad as when I had to kiss Aunt Ruby as a little kid. I will also admit that I craved hand sanitizer as I propelled myself out of the cab. He proudly proclaimed that he had set a new record going from midtown to JFK. Seventeen Minutes!!No doubt. So here we are immersed in the first week of 2012, and our first snowfall. I'm trying to set up my ICloud account and somehow I just don't have the patience while I Tunes tries to scan my library. I just bought Amy Winehouse's album ,and I know I'm going to miss her. What a loss. I also downloaded Mayer Hawthorne's new album. If you like old Motown then this album does the trick.This 33 year old white kid does Detroit's Motown as good as anyone I know. "The Walk" is hard to beat.I am blessed with good prospects, and several jobs lined up for the new year.There are a lot of people I miss, and I still have some unsettled business back in 1970, but some things you can't get on Delta and fly to. I wish Troy had recognized us.