Smooth Operator

This past weekend was of monumental importance because it was Derby Day. Now I feel that the Kentucky Derby is one thing in Kentucky that belongs to the entire world. Our soldiers in Iraq even had festivities commemorating the Run for the Roses. This year was a tragedy as the mare running in 2nd place brokedown after crossing the finish line. Brokedown is not good as her front ankles broke from the race and she was irrepairably damaged; damaged to the point of having to be euthanized. Immediately all animal activists want to stop horse racing. I even saw it compared to Michael Vick's dog fighting. Have you ever watched horses in a field? Horses don't have Laze Boy Recliners and video games. They race and run for fun.Those idiots from PETA even want to stop the KFC people from killing chickens. What are chickens going to be used for if not drumsticks and tenders?? We shouldn't eat eggs because of cholestrol, so this pretty well limits conversation about chickens. I'm still reeling over the fact that we have Hillary, Barack, And McCain who are the sole contenders for President. What has happened to our country? The Marines are looking for a few good men but these three duds just don't do it for me.I would vote for Condaleeza Rice in a second, so don't throw the woman/race argument at me. So Derby is over and the stars who came to Louisville have mostly departed. I am amazed at the star losers that are invited to the festivities. Anita Madden used to have the best parties in the state , but waved a magic wand and turned Hamburg Race Farm into Hamburg Place, a multi million dollar shopping center. Now most of the festivities are at the homes of the Barnstable Twins who are fading flowers that were UK cheerleaders about a hundred years ago. I keep up with the stars by seeing their photos in the Lexington paper's Sunday edition. I think the stars who attend the Derby Parties are like those who have Concerts at Renfro Valley. They are past their prime and on the way down. One of this years revelers?? Larry Birkhead, whose claim to fame was giving sperm to Anna Nicole Smith. I saw Hef walking along with the three blonde bimbos. Come on Hef , You are old.Does anyone actually believe your old parts still work?? Not Me. So as the Derby was gearing up on Saturday, we cut lawns and worked on slummy houses. I didn't even know until Sunday who won.Honestly I was more excited when Kyle Busch spun Junior out at Richmond with 3 laps to go. I was trying so hard to like Kyle up to this point but I like Junior better. The only redeeming thing about the Derby has always been the infield area where alcohol and narcotics have ruled the day . Beads , mud wrestling , and drunken brawls would make me feel pretty much at home among the true Louisville Sluggers.Remember Kato Kalin?? He used to be a standard guest at Derby Parties. Maybe he and Larry Birkhead ought to start some kind of business together, anything that didn't necessarily involve intelligence. There seems to be a large market out there for such enterprises. Joey Fatone was also in attendance. I saw him in Rent. What does he do now?? Call Larry and Kato.The crown of my weekend was buying Sade's greatest hits cd at the Half-price bookstore. I always loved"Smooth Operator", and still do. Born 49 years ago to an English mother and A Nigerian father, this Babe can sing.Sade,I just love to say the name.SHAR-DAY.Sade was not in attendance at any party I read about.I guess I'm going to listen to all 18 or 19 tracks on my next trip to Tennessee.I probably would vote for Sade over Barack. Am I the only one who can't hear what he says for looking at his goofy looking ears? Hillary would have worn a sophisticated hat to the Derby with a grey pantsuit.What has this world come to? Even the sweet little girls are drinking Southern Comfort now.As long as they're sipping it to "Smooth Operator" I guess its ok and I won't tell.