Red Mud

Today I had to go to Somerset with Lois Lane to lay out a teller line in this new bank we're doing. Now normally a tellers line is pretty simple and fits like a rectangle between two walls, but this line is semi-circular in the front and arcs out toward the lobby. The boys who are building the bank have a corresponding soffit overhead that must match the counter below, hence the CAD produced lifesized pattern. Lois Lane is our secret weapon in that she is a computer whiz, and you have to be able to type to use CAD. CAD by the way is computer assisted drafting. Over the years I have drawn enough plans by hand for the lead tracks to maybe reach the moon, but not much anymore since it is increasingly difficult to buy the proper tools and supplies. It appears that like the dinosaur my mediocre talents are fast becoming extinct and unnecessary. To enter the bank we had to go through a sea of slimy red Pulaski County mud that defies removing from my shoes. In the ensuing layout on the sub floor plywood I also ended up with the red clay on the knees of my slacks, but not to worry, this does not bother me. What would have bothered me would have been dirt on my shirt. Most of the time I am not particular about my shoes or slacks , but I worship 100% cotton shirts laundered professionally with heavy, heavy starch. I want my long-sleeved , button collared oxford cloth shirts to crackle if someone accidentally bumps into me. Don't ever try to talk me into a cotton blend no iron affair. It's not a real shirt. Polo has become my favored brand, but the ones with the little pony generally don't have a pocket, which leaves me no choice but to put cell-phone, pens , money ,etc. in my pants pockets.The one advantage is that no chest pocket means no leaked ink in the starched pocket of a $75 shirt. I want to be able to take off my shirt and it will stand on the floor from the starch. Anything less is unacceptable. Did you ever see those dorky guys selling insurance wearing polyester JC Penny short sleeved dress shirts with a polyester ugly necktie? Most of these guys will have a plastic pocket protector. Engineers are bad about this. Some engineers will have 3 or 4 pens and pencils in their pocket protectors. Nerds. Speaking of pens I am also fanatically inclined to use my Montblanc LeGrand no. 162 rollerball. That's the big one. If I have to explain you wouldn't understand. It reminds me of Marc Cohn singing about his dad, the man with the plan and the pocket comb. Does anybody still carry combs? I have grown infatuated with Thomas Pink shirts, made in Ireland. They just seem wonderful to me, but most are cut too tight and fitted for my rapidly growing stomach. They have the most beautiful fabrics and patterns. They also cost upwards of $300 only at the better stores. I'm trying to temper my infatuation with the things. I'm still undecided about french cuffs, which many of the better shirts have. Somehow it seems inappropriate to be scooting across a muddy construction site in Brooks Brothers or Burberry. It also helps if your shoes are shined, something impossible to retain plodding through drywall dust and fresh mortar. Sandy is always on me about unshined shoes. Well by now the red clay has hardened to concrete firmness on my Sketchers, but my shirts are unscathed. I will mention that at times a 2 or 3 hour car trip to customers or sites will entail at least half or more on the cell phone. Talk about dangerous. I've found the most reliable way to retain new phone numbers is to write it on your hand. I have also found that Montblanc Document blue ink will not come easily off of old wrinkled hands. It is embarrassing to go into a construction meeting with numbers written all over your lower arms. The participants of the meeting question whether the man with the dirty shoes is autistic. They at least think someone dresses him in stiff,crackly shirts. I hate it when my pocket rings, but that is another story. Sometimes like Icarus, I get excited and fly too close to the sun.