Calling on Elvis

Not long ago on a lovely Friday night Sandy Kay and I were on on way down to the quaint little ville of Mckinney , just ten miles down Hwy. 78. We eat at the Depot there so much that the waiters and waitresses seem like family, which I guess they are in some way. Anyway, as we were cruising down through the pretty farm land I was playing Dire Straits on the Silverado's cd player, much to the aggravation of Sandy Kay, who is a "Rod Stewart Plays the Classics" kind of girl . I hit track 13 and cranked up the volumn to near max just about the time we passed the straight stretch and field of quadrazillions of goats. The field is literally awash with hundreds of brown and white milk goats and their pair of monster white guard dogs, always patiently ,but vigilantly watching over their herd of schizophrenic and hyperactive creatures. The surreal pastoral scene was broken as Mark Knopfler wailed out"Calling on Elvis... Is anybody home... Calling Elvis.." Well you get the picture,but the goats didn't have time to become alarmed as the Silverado was whirling along at over 70 mph down hwy 78, only a momentary distraction as the udder dragging creatures resumed their quest for grass. Dinner was as uneventful as a chicken sandwich and salad can be. Then comes the adventure. We had just turned back onto 78 toward Stanford when we happened upon a fresh single car wreck, so fresh in fact that the wheels were still spinning and the wipers were swishing back and forth on a dry windshield. We stopped and started to render aid as best as two non-medical people can give. The three occupants, 24 year old mother, young daughter and young son(maybe 9 and 7 years old) were not injured badly but shaken up and slightly bleeding ,nevertheless resisted in staying in one spot while awaiting the ambulance . I had determined they were well enough to get up out of the right of way grass and over on the highway in the shelter and protection of my truck. Wrong!! Every time I looked up one or two of the victims would be wandering over ,trying to get something out of the car which was somewhat a part of the otherwise bucolic fence row. The car was totalled, but easily could have been totalled before the accident. I just didn't know.I just knew that keeping those victims away from that car was like keeping a writhing mass of garter snakes in a shallow bucket. I finally asked the mother what she was looking for. Her reply? "My Cellphone. I need to call my husband." Simple enough. I asked for her number and told her I would use Sandy's cell to call him. I then realized I didn't know her or her husband so I asked the logical question,"What's your husband's name?" Shakily she said,"Elvis." My world stopped. I grew clammy and nearly had a genuine out-of- body experience. I heard myself asking her again for his name thinking I was having a severe reaction to my chicken sandwich. Again she said , "His name is Elvis."Holy hell!!Talk about karma. I shakily called his number, hoping he might not answer. I heard a young man's voice answer,"Hello". In a disembodied voice I heard myself ask," Is this.....uh... Elvis?" He answered yes and the rest is history. I watched the red lights of the square rescue vehicle as it sped away, carrying the three little victims to Fort Logan and its alcohol smelling corridors, and haggard looking medical people who would pronounce them alright, and turn them over to the anxious and waiting Elvis. I couldn't help but feel that something was amiss. Calling on Elvis . Is Anybody home ?? You can bet anybody's sweet ass that I drove slowly the few remaining miles home. What mother names their son in this age Elvis?She probably had tickets to the Lexington show that had to be cancelled because of his death. Too many deep-fried bananas and peanut butter sandwiches. I think he died in 1977. That would make this Elvis what age?29 years old. That would be about right. Calling on Elvis is anybody home? As I slowly made my way to Helm Street I hit number 9 and cranked the thing up .Money for Nothing and your chicks for free. I want my MTV. What a life!!