Old Mcdonald Had A Zoo

I was recently coming through Somerset from Monticello,and like any normal day I was ready for a convenient stop at the Golden Arches for the unbreakable cycle of all road warriors for restroom followed by a large chalice of caffeine on the rocks. Being on the road for the past 27 years has imprinted many things in my brain, but perhaps the daily consumption of Mcdonalds large cokes is my most cherished ritual. Large cokes are $1.38, and mediums are$1.06 through most of Kentucky, but Manchester is higher. I quit cigarettes 15 years ago ,but I would die before quitting caffeine. I could write a Fodor's sort of book on the Mcdonalds of Kentucky and Tennessee ,and I personally know a man who owns 14 of the things. He told me just last week that he has 900 employees. Now this man has my respect far more than that wimpy,feminine Donald Trump, or even Rick Pitino. I can tell you which Mcdonalds are new ,which are sleazy, and even what the clientele are like. I can tell you which ones are progressive and hire handicapped workers, and which are in the midst of remodelling. All of this information is to establish my qualifications as a professional Mcdonalds expert and user, and to relay this story of indescrible misery and terror. As I entered the South 27 Mcdonalds in Somerset I was nearly knocked backwards by the wall of noise and screeches that assaulted me. I thought that I had mistakenly entered the primate wing of the Louisville zoo , the noise was that bad! Then I remembered the Yellow buses in the parking lot. There were two or three 66 passenger public school busses parked outside. I had unwittingly entered some sort of reward day hell!! These were not just any public school students, but what looked like 1st or 2nd graders, all in motion from caffeine and sugar induced frenzies, all screaming and combative from excitement. Now in all my years of marriage we never had children, something I can honestly say I've not missed.But in my own defense I can truly say I believe I love most children, but in managable numbers. I looked for the teachers but for the most part they looked to be in shell shock and as miserable as I was myself . What were these educated women thinking? On the one hand they hand out copious doses of rittalin(sp.?) and then take the little apes out to overindulge on sugar and caffeine. What planet are these leaders of our youth from that they haven't heard of how many grams of fat a Big Mac has, or how many calories a large order of fries has?As I cautiously waded through the screaming masses to the men's restroom, I opened the door to another hell. God only knows what mischief 6 or 7 boys were up to in there as they looked up from the water fight they were in at me with suspicion in their eyes. The absence of male teachers had given this little primate gang their own private kingdom to wage havoc on normal customers. One of them had his watch lying on the vanity top, for what reason I don't know. It's been nearly 50 years since I was that young, how would I remember what one thought about in the First grade? This whole scene reminded me of Dante's Inferno as I hastily retreated to the quiet and calmness of the parking lot and my 4x4.m I reflected on how these little monsters will be become sweet, adorable children when they are separated from their peers, but as a group they become a surly, loud , obnoxious mass, uncontrollable by their brainless teachers. Leave the students at school where they can learn.Do not let them loose like an uncontrollable amoeba on the unsuspecting public.Unpopular as my views certainly are, I don't care. Schools need to educate,not entertain.