Those Friendly Golden Arches

It seems that my entire life is involved in some manner with McDonalds, as my whole social world and interaction centers under the golden Arches. Yesterday for instance I was watching the 6 o'clock news on a Lexington TV station and the opening teaser was about violence and gunshots being fired at a central Kentucky McDonalds. Guess where it happened?? Right. Here at the only McDonalds in Stanford. Right where I drive through every morning for my large coke. $1.58 if you please. Every morning my friendly face at the window takes my $1.58 and calls me "baby".I ask her if she has found a man and she always says"I've got me a man."Then I move on with a clear mind and a destination down the road, usually to Virginia or maybe Eastern Kentucky. Well yesterday these three teenage hellions were trying to check out or checkin a Red Box movie and were blocking the drive up lane, a definite faux pas. The older guy behind them evidentally voiced his displeasure and testosterone induced words followed. The punks moved on , seemingly to leave the premises. As the older guy was paying for his food , said punks came back for chapter 2 of the Red Box confrontation. Punk leader got out with a metal bar and hit the older guy in the leg with the tool. Older guy pulls out a pistol and fires three quick rounds into the rear tire of the punk mobile . Police came and took all to jail , but they all posted bond and were released, to meet another day in court , if not sooner. Man, talk about crazy ways to die!! What if one of those shots had glanced off the blacktop or automobile into a waiting car??Our county has way too many incidents of trashy people meeting under volatile circumstances. Usually there will be young families at the Red Box looking for movies. Who would have thought the trashy gang wannabees would incite a gun battle over a $1 movie? Is this what we have to look for in the future? Now I can't truly fault the older guy, because he had already been hit with a steel bar on the leg, with the possibility of a serious beating from three punks. I actually think he showed some restraint by shooting their tires. I guess I'll just start packing heat when I go for my coke in the mornings. I was thinking of all this as I cruised through at about 7:45 this morning, listening to Kid Rock . What kind of movie do you think the three idiots were returning? There is no way of knowing ,but I'm betting it wasn't a Disney classic. After I left I was listening to the radio talking heads and some of the men were talking about Michelle Obama's Inauguration dress and her Inaugural ball dress. Come on guys!! Men don't talk about what the new first lady was wearing. That is supposed to be for the gay guys on ET. Is this banter about womens'dresses a smoke screen and denial about the more important issues at hand; i.e. a major recession, unemployment, and people losing jobs and homes? For the last couple of months I have been reading the local Topix on the internet and yesterday I finally realized that enough is enough. Holy Hell!! Is there nothing that trashy people won't say about themselves and each other!! They have invented some type of written language that even apes would find ignorant. It seems every grade school dropout has gotten a computer and is weighing in on the local hotties and who has what disease. Then the elementary children are writing in"Who is the hottest 6th grader at the middle school?". Hottest 6th grader?? These are kids ! Where are the parents that are letting these kids write this trash? When I was in the 6th grade I was a kid with normal kid issues.Maybe the 6th grade would-be hottie's parents are out gunfighting at McDonalds. That makes more sense.I think listening to Kid Rock could seriously cause middle aged men to brawl at local fast food restaurants, or maybe it is an overload of two all beef patties, special sauce,etc.The other morning, Tuesday I think, I pulled into work and the temperature reading on my mirror read -1 degree. Somebody forgot to tell Mother Nature that this is Central Kentucky, the Upper South.It was actually warmer that day in Fairbanks , Alaska than here in Stanford. Where is Al Gore and his Global Warming when we need him?? The positive thing is that we are going to Florida for the month of February and hopefully a little warmer climate. I don't think Sandy trusts me with all that time on my hands. I told her that I was going to get a day job at Wal Mart as a Greeter and she just laughed and said I was not intellectually or personality gifted enough to be a greeter.Say what?? She said I was too ill natured and grumpy to be a greeter.Talk about body slamming my self esteem!!So we've got tickets to Daytona and then we're going up to the Panhandle to do some Scuba Diving. I can't wait to get to The Blue Grotto and drop down to about 115 feet of the clearest water in the United States. I have a few concerns about my polartec dive skin . Maybe Sandy can put some stretch panels in the belly area where three hour trips to job sites have added a few pounds. One great thing is that every state to Florida has reciprocal concealed carry laws that lets me legally have the Sig P29 in my possession. That at least makes some things more even. I have to quit this Kid Rock thing.Also on a positive note I have gotten a Florida bound haircut, one of the two yearly that I partake of.Good luck to our new President , and may he help our country do well again, and God Bless Sonny's Barbecue because I'll be seeing a lot of those in the next month.If its not smokin its not Sonnys.I hope my dive computer doesn't realize that I've gotten fatter and penalizes me on bottom time.Maybe I'll just leave the thing at home.Maybe I should start listening to Michael Buble and quit packing heat. Probably the reason I'm going to fail as a greeter. I think the eyebrows are throwing Sandy off. The hirsute curmudgeon syndrone.