Lectured by a Man in a Pink Turban

This past weekend we went to NYC to do the annual Christmas thing, and it was atypical in several ways. As usual we flew into LaGuardia and caught the usual yellow cab for the trip over to Midtown Manhattan. As usual Sandy, Timmy, and Erika raced to the security of the back seat and left me up front with the cabbie. Again as usual we had a turbanned cabbie with a long flowing grey beard and an urge to converse with someone, me in this case. His turban was faded pink , and looked like the last time it was clean was when Ghandi was having his hunger strikes. He had a propensity to talk very softly ,and being in a poor hearing mode I would just nodded as I couldn't understand a damn thing he was saying. What I could understand was that he was going at speeds up to 70 mph , and kept looking towards me as he talked.Sandy kept trying to translate for me as she has wonderful auditory skills,and I was watching the road and speedometer as we wove our way across the Tri-borough bridge. He was trying to tell me that he was going to add the $4.50 toll to our fare. At this point I had serious doubts that we would even arrive at our hotel. After we went past Harlem and headed toward Central Park I mercifully had a phone call and was momentarily distracted. As I hung up he was trying to talk to me and nearly rear-ended a shiny green mini van stopped for the light ahead He looked up and we went from 60 to 0 in about the same time those f-14s used to land on the aircraft carriers. I was praying the air bags worked. After nearly Blue-crossing us he sheepishly said"Sorry ,Sorry". I was so relieved that we were still alive that I just laughed. Our past closest near- death experience was when a Korean cabbie almost t-boned a car that pulled out in front of us. That was entertaining as I watched his oriental eyes turn round and caucasian for a brief moment. I have determined that NYC cabs smell so bad because tourists accidentally pee their pants from fear, or worse.Any way we were entering Central Park when these three Hispanic babes crossed the street going to work out at the neighborhood gym. Now these girls weren't movie stars but they had that J Lo look. I mistakenly said we should give those girls a ride and evidentally Mr. Purity went on a lecture tirade about respecting women and morality, subjects that I'm usually somewhat deficient in. Sandy told me that she was afraid I heard him and was going to "Get Started"(her words). Well we made it to the hotel unharmed and he drove off in a squeal of tires, a yellow and pink image headed down 8th street. Somehow The Wrath Of Khan enters my mind.We lucked out on the weather and had three beautiful days of subways, carriage rides, and strange food. I told Timmy that we should have invested in Apple because every human in the Big Apple had an IPod cord hanging out their ear. The ones that didn't had Blue Tooth devices that were flashing and they were talking into.I wonder who is so involved with anything that makes them wear a speaker device to the cell phone in their ear. I personally think it looks dorky. Sandy Kay stayed on her own little Razr V3 and talked to her buddies while the rest of us watched skaters in Central Park. Some were taking lessons; one busted his ass big time. It really looked like a Currier and Ives Lithograph except for those nasty blue tooths and IPods. I told Timmy that Sandy loved her fellow workers more than me. Neither he or Erika had the decency to disagree. I told them if she left me that I would miss our trips together,again to silence. They didn't reassure me that I would be welcome if Sandy weren't along. I think I know now what they are talking about in the back of the screaming taxi. Later that night we went to Carnegie Hall for the New York Pops Christmas Program. It was a first for all of us and we enjoyed the experience. It was a long way from Marlow Tacketts, but sometimes you have to try new things. Next day to Greenwich Village and SoHo; lots of unusal dogs and even more unusal owners. A prime memory was the pet store with windows full of cavorting and energetic pups. The sign proudly proclaimed that the little ratty looking (I can't spell Chiwawas) were on sell from$1100 to $899!!No wonder Paris Hilton carries one of those little bug eyed yappers. Went to see Rent for the last time, you know 525,600 minutes? Mimi looked great and Maureen still likes Joann. Somethings never change. Angel didn't make it.