Amish Rumble

As I was heading out of Stanford this morning my thoughts were on my appointment with a banker in Hazard, and I barely noticed the Amish Buggy that I met near the Cedar Creek Dam. A couple was riding along in their go-to- town buggy at a pretty fast clip.These buggys are something of a marvel as they have roll-up windows and a windshield. They also have a required set of headlights and turnlights, as well as a huge orange triangle as fitting a slow moving vehicle on a fast travelled highway such as US 150 . As I said I didn't pay much attention to the buggy until I met the next one, then the next one , and finally a total of 10 fast moving Amish vehicles in a row. Wow!! This set my mind to thinking; is it a convention? And then it hit me , I was privileged to see the staging and start of an AMISH RUMBLE! I'd never thought that our humble, kind, stand-offish citizens were capable of any emotions, much less being royally pissed off! As I continued toward Hazard I thought of how little I actually knew about our gentle fellow Lincoln Countians. My previous experience was restricted to standing behind a couple at Food Lion as they bought huge amounts of whole chickens. I remembered two things, one the gentlemen didn't have back pockets on their funky dark blue jeans, and secondly, they paid for their chicken with a First Southern Debit card. Somehow the plastic card and old Dobbin out in the parking lot seemed at odds with each other. These kind people try not to pay taxes to the government, and will not go to war. Some of them drive, but this is a different sect, I think. Mennonite maybe? I couldn't help but think of our contrasting lifestyles. Obviously we are dissimilar in many ways besides the lack of back pockets. I believe that $3 a gallon gasoline doesn't affect them the way it does me , but maybe they have a Brother Thomas who has cornered the market on hay , and they would be equally perturbed. As a matter of fact they may have been going en mass to protest rising hay prices. When I read of rising natural gas bills for the coming winter are they worried? I think not . They'll just cut a little more wood and cuddle up a little closer to their stately wife, and be happy as people without Bob Seeger can be. I doubt from the looks that the UPS delivers many Bow Flex Machines to the Amish, and I doubt that they are terribly worried about Iraq, Katrina, or American Idol. ( You know there may be something in Amishism after all). I stayed in Hazard all day marvelling at how mr. Caterpillar is making it possible for Appalachia to become more like Kansas every day. As I neared home I met the same parade of carriages in about the same place heading in the opposite direction. They all seemed to be smiling, and I perceived they had had a good day. If indeed there was a rumble then they must have kicked some ass. If , on the other hand they were celebrating something else then I surmise it had to do with making money. People who make money smile like those Amish were doing. Go for it Amish People. Feed those horses and wear those funky clothes while you eat Debit card chicken. What could be better? As for me, I'll buy $3 gasoline at BP and listen to Smokey as I elude the Blue lights. Cruise by Manchester listening to BABY BABY DON"T CRY.